MY CAREGIVER STORY IS TWO-FOLD. I WAS BLESSED WITH CARING FOR MY MOTHER UNTIL HER DEATH IN DEC 2006. UNFORTUNATELY THE LAST TWO YEARS OF HER LIFE WERE SPENT IN A NURSING HOME, AS I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS IN 1998, AND AFTER ABOUT 4 YEARS HAD TO QUIT WORK, WAS UNABLE TO DRIVE MY CAR, AND HAD TO SELL THE HOUSE I HAD PURCHASED FOR MY MOM AND ME.
AFTER A COUPLE OF YEARS IN AN APARTMENT, I WAS PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO CARE FOR MY MOTHER IN THE WAY SHE NEEDED, SO BLESS HER HEART, SHE MADE THE DECISION TO BE PLACED IN A NURSING HOME. I STILL DEAL WITH THE GUILT NOW – LIKE I FAILED HER IN THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY.
AND SINCE I CAN NO LONGER WORK OR DRIVE, I HAVE, AGAIN, BEEN BLESSED WITH A GOOD FAMILY AND FRIENDS, AND AM MORE THAN GRATEFUL THAT I HAVE AN OLDER BROTHER WHO HAS NOW TAKEN ON THE CAREGIVER ROLE FOR ME. IT WOULD TAKE TOO MUCH TIME AND SPACE TO GIVE HIM ALL THE CREDIT HE DESERVES FOR ALL THAT HE HAS DONE FOR ME, BUT IT IS IMPORTANT TO ME THAT HE KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE AND APPRECIATE HIM.
I HAVE NEVER MARRIED AND HAVE NO CHILDREN OF MY OWN, BUT HAVE BEEN IN BOTH SITUATIONS WHERE I WAS A CAREGIVER, AND NOW, NEED ONE. IT IS TRULY HARD TO BE THE CAREGIVER FOR A LOVED ONE WHO IS FADING AWAY RIGHT BEFORE OUR EYES, BUT IT IS EQUALLY, IF NOT MORE, DIFFICULT TO BE THE ILL ONE.
FROM WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN TO US, DAN WAS BRAVE AND COURAGEOUS THROUGHOUT HIS ILLNESS, AND I ONLY HOPE I CAN LEAVE MY FAMILY FEELING THE SAME WAY.
TINKER
