Hello Jean,
I am so moved by your emails and my heart goes out to you. We all loved Dan’s music, I grew up listening to his songs. I must say it took me 6 months to stop crying when I would think of his loss.
My husband died in 2001 of colon cancer. He was sick for 18 months and I took care of him the entire time at home. He died the night of July 21st. God rest his soul. I during that time found out I have Hepatitis C … I kept wondering why I was so tired all the time. I figure it was the stress of taking care of my ill husband but I realize stress could kill me so I tried to be careful with my health. Bruce, my husband, did not get checked for colon cancer and when they finally found it it was too late. He could have easily caught it but he never got checked. I hope friends can please realize to have a check up … it may save their lives.
It took time but as the years passed it got easier for me. I had 4 years living by myself in a cute little cabin in the woods. Reconnected with old friends and life seemed good. As the years passed I realized my mother needed care, she now is 88. I moved in with her 3 years ago and have been care giving her for the past few years. We have a huge garden, 130 rose bushes plus many other plants. My Mom was getting too old and frail to care for the garden herself, so I have become her live in gardener, and care giver. This past May Mom got very ill with an infection in her colon that went septic. She got ill one morning here at home and within 3 hours she was so ill I had to call 911 and the ambulance came and took her to the hospital. She ended up surviving the infection then got congestive heart failure, she recovered from that also! She is a tough lady. She was in the hospital for 3 weeks. I would visit her 2 – 3 times a day, every day. When she came home I had to constantly be here for her. She is recovering but will never be the same as she was. She is 100 lbs. and the severe illness caused her to age greatly. Very sad…. I am so here for her but I am so burnt out. I have become depressed at times since I can’t get away as I used to. But, I know I will look back on this time and be grateful I was here for her. Meanwhile my Hep C is worsening, which scares me but I have to stay strong for my Mom.
Care giving is so difficult. My brother and sister have no clue the stress that comes along with care giving. My Mom has macular degeneration, loosing her hearing, her short term memory, among many other things. All these things have gotten so much worse just in the past few weeks. The doctor told her last week everything is starting to fail, all from the illness she had back in May. It is so sad to see my mother fading away as she is. It is scary and frustrating at the same time. It’s like she is turning into a child at times. That is hard for a child to see her mother become so helpless. Only if we could turn back time. I love my mother so much and it’s so sad to see her decline as she is. I am worn out but will be here for her no matter what. I hope someday when I need help I have someone who will be here for me as I am for her!
You take care, Jean! It will take time … you were blessed to have such a wonderful man in your life, as he was blessed to have you!
Warmest wishes,
Helen Boss
