Don't Lose Heart

John, my husband of 41 years, was diagnosed with colon cancer Stage III after a trip to the emergency room for what turned out to be a ruptured colon due to the tumor. He had no symptoms or warning signs.

During the next 4 years, he made his way from anger and a sense that his big strong body had betrayed him to a dedicated all-out effort to do everything in his power to prepare his mother and me to  survive and thrive without him.

My blog http://sheddinglightonthecancerjourney.wordpress.com/ came  about because I’ve been walking down the long and winding colon  cancer road with my beloved husband for the last 4 years. He died  in April, here in the home he built for us, with me by his side.  Unlike other blogs, this is not about my feelings (though they will  inevitably creep in), nor is it an attempt to cover the nuts and  bolts of colon cancer. There are plenty of books and blogs and  webpages on those topics. Rather, it is about extracting the many  lessons we learned along the way, those that can only be learned  through hard experience– the things your doctor or pharmacist doesn’t tell you, how we made the system work for us, side effects that aren’t on any  labels, cutting-edge treatments that gave us precious extra months of quality time.

Though gut-wrenchingly painful at times, our journey was extra- ordinary in that it was illuminated by such profound kindness from  the doctors and nurses whom we forged into our team. Our relationship with them came to be one of deep mutual respect — albeit with some notable  exceptions. I should note that this wasn’t our goal to begin with;  it was a side effect that grew out of our fierce determination to get what we needed out of our medical system coupled with my new  understanding that I was signing on as a full-time medical  researcher.

This blog is for all present and future colon cancer patients and their families. May you learn from our experience. May you be free from suffering.