Just as I was getting out of a 4 year BSN program for Nursing, and had taken my State Boards, I noticed my Mother Lorraine had been having burning behind her eyes, and was dropping things. When she had a wreck in her car and stated she never saw the stop sign, I took her to the Neuro-Surgeon ASAP. I was caring for my sisters three young boys when the phone rang. “Carol, I am so sorry, but your Mother has a Thalamic Glioma. It is a rapidly growing tumor in her brain, and is inoperable. I can make her comfortable, that’s it.” WHAT??? I could not go work when they said let’s try radiation, shunts etc…so I was with her every day…dressing, feeding, taking to her Dr. visits.
Crying at night knowing she would never see my children…ever.
In and out of the hospital with her shunts going in. She would know us, then she wouldn’t.
I became very ill during all of this and lost 45 lbs, had to have surgery. Mom had to be brought in by ambulance while I was so ill…they called me asking me what to do. I am sneaking down to the ER with my IV bag in my lap because I think this is it…my sister gets out of the ambulance crying. We think she is gone. They put her in next to me so I can be with her…I’m just..not believing this!!! “MOM, MOM”
Yes, I’m an RN now, but I’m just out of school, and I’m sick, had gallbladder surgery, it was infected and this is my Mother, only 50 and near death. This was November, 1981. She died in my bedroom at home the next month on December 29th. I was 23, and I knew I would be a caregiver for the rest of my career, and take care of each patient like they were her.
I have been an RN for 30 years now, taking care of patients all over the Texas Med Center: my grandparents, a friend with Ovarian Cancer, Children with Cancer at a Ronald McDonald House, a five year old with brain tumor, osteogenic sarcoma, muscular dystrophy…these children are so awesome…they have so much strength, and faith. One had leukemia. I’ve worked in surgery, high risk OB/GYN for ladies that have kidney transplants that are pregnant. Now close to my mid-fifties, I take care of pediatric patients in their homes that are very sick. During this time, I have had many surgeries myself and had to learn how to be a patient. Not easy.
I’ve had 7 breast biopsies with some large tumors removed, 3 knee surgeries, gallbladder surgery, a hysterectomy, back surgery from lifting patients too much, and at 46 got the big one…Thyroid Cancer, which had to be taken care of at Neurosensory Center at the Texas Med Center in Houston, and radiation treatments afterwards. So I am proud to be able to still work two days per week, sometimes three if I’m lucky.
I am proud to be a caregiver, so very proud. It is so rewarding. Why? My Mom was a nursing student in New Orleans, and wasn’t able to do it because it stressed her so. I wanted to do it for the both of us, and I promised her. I love to visit people in the hospital. I loved showing parents how to scrub up before going into the NICU to see their newborns.
Teaching is so much a part of being a caregiver. But the Best part is making something easier on someone who is so sick, they just need a helping hand. Or taking their pain away by giving them their medicine, or helping to feed them when they can’t do it themselves, or reading a story to them or a poem when they are too weak. Or playing the guitar and singing to them. Being company for someone who has no one…that is what a caregiver is…It is smiling at your patient and making them feel safer when they go to sleep that night because you listened to what they had to say…
Being a Caregiver is all of these things.
Carol Leigh P M
Hi All! I know it has been a long time. I am finishing up my third semester of nursing school and I graduate in May. My mother is doing wonderful right now…she is even walking now after a year of not being able to. We continue to explore more treatment options as they are limited and we have tried so many. I am truly amazed and the power of prayer shines through. I have taken all the time I have to spend with her. She is an amazing woman and I continue to care for her and learn from her. Her personality and memory are INTACT! It is amazing and I am blessed for this time. Diagnosed sept. 2010 she has exceeded the odds. I thank you all for your support as my journey continues. The good and the bad have opened my eyes to a lot of things as my life completely transforms. My mom will celebrate her 61 birthday on dec. 26
Taking one day at a time
<3 Lindsay
Like
3
Lindsay, it’s great to hear that your mother is doing so well (thanks, in large part, to you). You’ve been through SO MUCH this year, but it’s been a beautiful thing to watch you grow and evolve from “overwhelmed” to “blessed” on your journey with your mother. When you graduate in six months you will be on your way to becoming a nurse who will deeply impact people’s lives, thanks to your hard-won understanding of the process from both sides. I’m looking forward to toasting your entry into the world of professional caregiving.
Like
0
Great to read the news about your mom, yes all things are possible. The good and bad things do open our eyes, and we learn from them, although it takes someone as dedicated and remarkable as you, to comprehend this at your age. I wish and pray for you and mom, the best of each day, lovely sunsets, first snow flakes, and happy warm evenings. When you finally get some rest, from studying and spending time with your mother, I hope for you a sound sleep, in knowing your incredible journey, has made you the young professional, caring woman you are today. A wish for a very happy birthday to your mom.
~Char
Like
0
Lindsay,
How wonderful it was to read your post. I have thought of you often because my own daughter is in the same place in nursing school as you! (This has been her toughest semester-she is really looking forward to the last one, as I’m sure are you!) She also had to deal with the serious illness of a parent at a young age, altho’ not to the same extent as you. You are managing an incredibly tough job! You are an amazingly caring and courageous young lady. You know so much more about life than many of us are ever able to grasp. I agree that you should be a very remarkable nurse!
Blessings to you and your mom as you continue to celebrate life together!
Betsy
Like
2
I just wanted to drop in and see how everyone was doing! Wishing you all a happy day.
Like
0
Dear Lindsay,
I have been thinking about you and hoping you would stop by to say hello.
When you have time, or feel up to it, please let us know how you and Mom are doing.
We are here for you anytime you need us, just yell out, or in this case write out!!
Hope your day brings you peace and happiness.
~Char
Like
0
Hi, Lindsay,
I, too, have been thinking about you and wondering how you and your mom are doing. So glad you took the time to say hey. Thanks for the sweet ‘happy day’ wish.
Betsy
Like
0
I am SOOO thankful for everyone’s time and support! I was beginning to feel hopeless on this rollercoaster ride. My mother is stable for now and she will start her second-line treatment (chemo) next week. My mom wanted the tumor removed and I did find a surgeon who was willing to remove it. But my mom is to scared to go through another surgery and I completely agree. We cry together about this awful disease. I hope we can find a cure for it some day…along with the many other cruel diseases. It is truely a blessing that Carol posted her journey with her mother. I was just “googling” one day and it popped up!! I am so thankful because I was really starting to wonder if I was the only person on this earth or what. I am doing well in school. School is my home away from home. I go to the hospital twice a week to take care of my patients and I am totally focued on their needs. Everyone deals with things differently but for now I stay busy with positive activities. Every emotion I have ever felt all comes out at once but I am strong for my mom. I keep life for my mom as normal as possible. I talk to her everyday and lay in her bed with her. I can’t imagine life without her. She is such a great person and has touched many children’s lives. She has made me into a beautiful woman. I often wish it were me instead of her but unfortunately I can’t change that. I am willing to do whatever it takes until the end. I know she would do the same for me & I owe her that. She is the best mom ever!!
she washed my clothes until I was 20! This journey has taught me a lot about life and I will never let my mother down. I see that everyone is struggling with an illness of a special person. My heart hurts for you all. I know I am young but if there is anything I can do please let me know.
<3 lindsay
Like
0
Dear Lindsay,
As I read you, it is very hard to believe you are 21. Your wonderful, caring Mom has raised a very intelligent, strong and amazing young woman. I am so thankful that your journey has taken you to this sunny spot full of help, love and caring. How great is it that Carol was here waiting for you. You are going to be a wonderful source of strength for your Mom, as she sounds like she is your best friend too. Please take it slow, and be gentle with yourself. My blessings to you and Mom and when you have a minute, and let us all know how things are going. You really are amazing.
~Char
Like
0
Dear Lindsay, you are so wise for someone so young! Staying busy with positive activities is really good, not just because you’re “out there” in the world, but because you can bring the world to your mother by sharing your interesting stories of what happened to you that day. I imagine your mother probably finds this reassuring as well – to know that you have this whole busy life that you love, and that you’ll be okay when she’s gone…this is another gift you’re giving her.
I completely understand her fear of another surgery – this is yet one more example of those terrible choices cancer forces us to make. It’s bad enough to have to decide between two things you DON’T WANT, but to know that the decision could affect the rest of your life, well, that just makes it all the more difficult and stressful. You’ve probably read other comments here about how we all second guess ourselves; all the “should have’s” we wrestle with after the fact. This is life; the two roads that Robert Frost wrote about. We can never know what’s around the bend; if the path we choose on any given day will lead us where we want to go. There’s no GPS app for life, all we can do is make a decision and see where it takes us. It’s what we do when we get there that determines who we are. ~ Jean
Like
0
Hi Lindsay, You are just a couple of years younger than I was when I was taking care of my mother, whose name was Lorraine. I used to get up in bed with mom too, and we’d watch TV or just talk. THis was at home, or in the hospital..I did just like you did, and crawl up with her. It comforted both of us. I want you to know I am thinking about you and the similarities you and I have had with our Moms, and for you always to know you are not alone!!! Ever!! I am here to talk to you any time you want or need to. It helps believe me. You can write to me here or on my personal e-mail: (please note: Carol’s email has been removed for her protection. Lindsay please contact: char@dontloseheart.org for Carol’s private email address)
Any time you need. I am thinking about you.
Carol
Like
0
Dear Carol Leigh,
I, too, was a nurse for 35 years, when I was diagnosed with the Big C. I have been unable to work since I found out in 2002. Your story is such an inspiration. I hope the best for you and your strong spirit…WOW…I wish I could work a few days a week, but I never know when I will feel good enough to do so. If you feel like talking, you know that we are all here, and I am just so impressed with your strength. God Bless you. ~Bev
Like
0
Dear Bev. Thank You so much for your kind words. I am getting to where I can’t do much work either. I haven’t worked since the end of Dec. 2010 for the very reason you mentioned…just can’t plan when I will feel well enough. I need knee replacements, surgery on my ankles which are swelled up, and hurt all the time. It feels terrible when you can’t do what you used to be able to do. My last colonoscopy I had 3 pre-cancerous adenomatous polyps. Close call. I’ve had polyps since I was in 20′s. It runs in the family. I can’t help but think since I’ve had cancer before, and beat it, that I should take advise from Dan F. himself, and settle down a bit so the stress can’t weaken my system. But being a caregiver still means I can go visit people in the hospital or their homes, send them cards, phone them. If you know you aren’t alone, you’ll be just fine. Thank You for your response. You are so nice.
Carol
Like
0
Char,
I was just searching for someone who has ever even heard of a thalamic glioma. I am 21 years old & in nursing school too. My mother has a large glioblastoma on the thalamus. I had never even heard of such a beast. I have dedicated much time researching only to find NO information it is so RARE. This is truely a nightmare. My mother was a teacher for 33 years & was diagnosed not even three months after retirement at 59 years old. She was fine in great condition, exercise daily & within one week she was unable to walk without assistance. Inoperable & incurable are two words you never want to hear! It has been 3 months since her biopsy & even after 30 treatments of whole brain radiation it is bigger. It has spread to another part of her brain. she is completely disabled and has been since her return post-op. The physical, mental, & emotional effects of this neoplasm are cruel. However, despite all of the neuro effects she is still the same sweet mom. Her memory is intact but she is getting worse every day medicine is baffled by this cancer. It is unstoppable & hopeless at times wearing on everyone. She wants me to continue to go to school & be successful. In two semesters I will be a RN. I know what it is like to provide exellent care & compassion that many lack. I will make my mother proud. I just wanted some guidance on what I should expect… or postive ways to deal with things like this. I moved back home to help take care of her & i am just overwhelmed with this whole process. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
thanks for listening!
-lindsay
Like
0
Dear Lindsay, I’m sorry you and your mother are going through this, especially now, with her recent retirement and your tender young age. Life can be so unfair and cruel. Thank you for deciding to become a professional caregiver – RN’s are very much needed.
You are so young, my dear. Seeing your mother through to her last days is going to be an experience that will play a big part in determining who you’re going to become, both as a woman and as a nurse. You sound like a very intelligent, strong young woman and I have no doubt you are going to be an incredible caregiver for your mother – she’s so lucky to have you for a daughter, and I know she must be so proud of you. You already have one foot in the medical community, so you will have access to people who will be able to answer questions and assist you when you run into those tough patches. Your hospital social worker, local home care and hospice will offer advice and suggestions in your mother’s final days.
Until then, focus on LIFE and the days, hours, and minutes you have together. You will always cherish this time with her, and as hard as it will be some days, you will never regret taking this time to be with her. You’re going to make some mistakes, and you’re going to be afraid and lose your patience. You’re going to need sleep, good food, exercise and fresh air, and there will be days when you’ll need comforting and someone to talk to. It’s going to be very hard to watch the mother you know and love fade. Very hard. You’re going to feel helpless and angry that you can’t do more for her. But you will find a way to be strong for her. If she doesn’t have a will or living trust, that needs to be done, so her wishes are known and legally established. You’re going to feel terrible bringing it up, but it needs to be done while she is capable. This is important. It’s going to be a roller coaster of emotions, especially on those days when you haven’t had enough sleep. You’re going to hide your tears and feel bad for the times they pop out unexpectedly – it’s okay, be gentle with yourself, you’re only human.
We’re all here for you, cheering you on and ready to listen any time you need us. ~ Jean
Like
0
~Jean~
I am reading your note to Lindsay and wishing I had had your beautiful words when I was taking care of my Mother when she was dying. Your words are perfection, and I thank you for writing them. I am pretending that they are written to me too when I was 23 and losing my Mom to a thalamic glioma. It was so hard. But I know you understand. You have compforted me so much with this note…you just get it. And your advise is wonderful and so true. Thank You so very much for letting me know that Lindsay was trying to find me. You are creating more healing than you know.
Love,
~Carol~
Like
0
Lindsay,
I am sorry to read of your mother’s illness. I so wish I had some magic wand I could wave and it would all be nothing but a bad dream. You are so young, but you have let us all know how incredibly strong you are. You have chosen a profession that is not for the faint of heart, or for the average person. You are an angel, you will take care of so many patients during your career, as your present caregiving journey speeds you on your way to being the best of the best. Go easy on yourself now, cry, yell, punch a pillow or two.. ( ok, I do this all the time) I have read Jean’s advice to you, and it is right on. I wish I had something to add, I am caregiver to my husband and Mom (she is 91) My husband’s health has gone downhill over the last 8 months and he is diabetic, along with various other health issues, and his ability to heal is extremely compromised. At times, and today is one of them, I have cried on and off all day, he has just had two toes amputated, and healing was on target, well that changed today, as another infection has just set in. You know what Linds, I am mad, and crying and will punch a few pillows tonite, I am sure. But… you and I will pick yourselves up tomorrow and fight, right? I am here for you, 24/7… my only wish is that I could do more.
You and Mom will be in my thoughts and prayers, please let me know how things are going. Thinking of you both.
~Char
Like
0
Hi, Char,
I’ve been wondering about how your husband was doing. I am sorry to hear not well. You are such a beautiful person, Char, with such a giving soul-ALWAYS reaching out to everyone with spritely encouragement. I hope you can feel my arms reaching around you with a big hug. You have lifted me and SOOOO many others up SOOO many times, I hope you feel our love and gratitude for you lifting YOU up tonight. So after you’ve punched the heck out of those pillows sit down and do something special for yourself.
Love, Betsy
Like
0
Dear Betsy, Thank you for being you, and making me smile. Wow, I simply love that big hug, as it lifts me up.. Thank you so very much.
~Char
Like
0
Char,
So sorry to hear of your husbands setback. You are an incredibly strong and caring person. You have so much on your plate yet, you are always there for the DLH family.
Much love, hugs and prayers, coming your way. Your mom and husband are sooo lucky to have you!
DLH
Lisa
Like
0
Dear Lisa, Thank you, but you are too kind with your lovely complements. I have faith, we will get back on the right track soon. Thank you again for your caring, hugs and prayers.
~Char
Like
0
Dear Sweet Char,
I am so sorry to hear about your husband. That let’s you know how good I am at the computer thing. I had no idea that you were a guardian angel that won’t lose heart. My prayers are with you and I will send positive energy your way. I, too, have cried for 2 days now and have no idea why. I have this thing that I feel others distress even when I am not with them or even know what is going on. Something told me to read this today and now I know why I was crying. Be strong….just remember that what doesn’t kill us will make us stronger, and by gosh, I will do everything in my power to help make you stronger!!!!! You are such a sweet friend. I wish I was there to help you. But don’t you ever forget that I am thinking of you everyday, and I’ll even punch a few pillows in your honor. Love you my dear friend. ~Bev~
Like
0
Bev-ster,
You are such a positive, funny and strong lady, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your positive engery, kind words and prayers. Do me a favor after you punch a few pillows, have a hand full of M&M’s for me!!! Thank you Bev, and love to your wonderful Mom and your honey.
~Char
Like
0
Char; I am sorry to hear about Rich. We are here for you, Sister. If I were closer I would volunteer to be your punching bag, instead of the pillows:) Sending good thoughts your way!
Like
0
Thanks Lynn,
Doctor’s visit tomorrow will tell more, and I am positive with the prayers, good thoughts, hugs, and strength everyone has given me at DLH, we will be ok.
Thank you again.
~Char
Like
0
Dear Lindsay,
How very brave you are. And remember, being brave doesn’t mean you aren’t scared, it means you show up anyway. My daughter is also 21 and in nursing school. She also had to witness her very young father deal with a glio brain tumor. And, like you, her decision to become a nurse had much to do with his illness. I often tell her she will be a great nurse because she will have much compassion. You said the same about yourself. That is beautiful.
It is hard for you so young to have to deal with such sadness and grave illness, but as Jean said, these coming days will help to shape the woman you will become. You sound like a very special one already. I agree with Jean that it is very important for you to focus as much as possible on sharing time with your mom. Nothing could be more true than her words “you will not regret” it.
I will be praying for you and your sweet mom. May you be blessed with much grace and the love and support of family and friends on your journey. When you are overwhelmed be sure to stop back here–I know of no better place to find the help and caring you need for yourself.
Betsy
Like
0
Lindsay,
I just realized I confused you with Carol Leigh (as far as one of her reasons for being a caregiver). As you said, your stories are uncanny in their similarities!
Betsy
Like
0
Betsy, I think you said you meant this for me, but the sweet words could be for me or Lindsay since our stories are just alike. I will view these sweet words of yours to be for both Lindsay and I. I go by Carol or Carol Leigh. What I appreciate is that as caregivers, we are not used to someone saying caring words to us. We are the ones used to giving the care, and that’s how people and ourselves expect it. We are RN’s.
While my Mom was dying, my gallbladder became infected, and I was very, very sick…lots of pain…just turned 23, and I couldn’t sleep so I got up, and went to read on a couch by the nurses starion. Another pt came out to sit there, and they asked me why I was there. I told them I had to have my gallbladder out first thing in the morning, and I’m scared. I was so surprised when they said. “You’re a nurse, how did you get sick with this…you aren’t supposed to sick, you are a nurse. I told them “nurses are human beings first,
then nurses that take care of pt.s. I was so surprised at the comment that I actually started to believe that nurses weren’t allowed to get sick, or feel scared, or need help. But many of you have written words that I wish I would have had when I was going through all of this. Betsy, and the perfect words Jean had to say to me when she wrote me back to explain something. Thank You all for your words of encouragement. And Lindsay, I hope you can benefit from these words too sweetheart, because I feel these words from Betsy are for you too. You are so young, and I want you to know you are a precious human being first, with feelings, and needs, and then you are a nurse. Betsy, I appreciate your words and encouragement too. We can all benefit from kindness and caring. I Love this site of “Don’t Lose Heart” because I feel it is from Dan and Jean. Jean beautifully took what Dan wrote to make in this song to make her feel better, and to make her feel safe, and she is sharing it with all of us. She is sharing her husband’s beautiful song and words with each and every one of us. How incredible is this woman. No wonder Dan married her. Betsy, thank you for your gentle words. I will read all of your words over and over, and let them sink into my heart and soul. Thank You, THank You, Carol Leigh
Like
0
Dear Carol Leigh, Your words quoted below, simply blow me away. YOU got it, YOU make a difference in each life YOU have touched, and I thank YOU… BIG TIME
~Char
“Teaching is so much a part of being a caregiver. But the Best part is making something easier on someone who is so sick, they just need a helping hand. Or taking their pain away by giving them their medicine, or helping to feed them when they can’t do it themselves, or reading a story to them or a poem when they are too weak. Or playing the guitar and singing to them. Being company for someone who has no one…that is what a caregiver is…It is smiling at your patient and making them feel safer when they go to sleep that night because you listened to what they had to say…
Being a Caregiver is all of these things.”
Like
0
Dear Carol Leigh,
I am so happy that my words meant so much to you. Thank you for being such a remarkable, loving caregiver all these years. I loved reading your story–you sound like such a strong lady! How happy it must make you to be carrying on for your mom, who couldn’t be a nurse.
I agree with you–caregivers really do need to be cared for and that is why I am so awed by this site. The people behind it and the rest of the DLH family do an amazing job of caring.
Betsy
Like
0
Dear Lindsay,
My name is Carol L.P. Marshall. Hello. I see our stories are so very similar as you mentioned. You are 21, and I was 22 when my Mother got sick with this brain tumor. Let me say how sorry I am that you are going through all of this, but that also, you will get through it. There are days you think you wont, but with Prayer, talking to friends, writing a journal maybe. I did the journal to get my feelings out which really helped me sleep at night. I wrote useful information that I went back to refer to also. Give yourself time for “YOU” Care for yourself too…get enough sleep, take walks or whatever you do to exercise, eat healthy, treat yourself to movies you love to watch at home that will make you laugh, or sing. I hear there is a GREAT DVD of a concert from my favorite singer, songwriter Dan Fogelberg. It’s called “Greetings From the West” I read where your Mother has a brain tumor…a glioblastoma of the thalamus gland. My Mother had a thalamic glioma. Gliomas are rapid growing brain tumors, and because of their location, are very difficult to take care of surgically. Usually Radiation and/or chemotherapy is used, and when fluid develops in the brain, they do a shunt to drain the fluid off. This is not theraputic, just takes the fluid off to make the patient more comfortable. They are rare, and usually the symptoms start fairly quickly. My Mom lost peripheral vision, and ran into a car. She began feeling numb on one side of her body, dropping things in her left hands. She fell down in the movies…her legs just crumbled. I didn’t know what was wrong. The thing that bothered me the most were her complaints of “burning” behind her left eye, and a pressure. She had papilledema in that eye, so I took her to a Neurologist Immediatly! Your Mother may have some similar symtoms, or not. She may not have symptoms as bad as my Mom. But I feel so for you because I went through exactly what you are at the same age too. I was just one year younger. I want you to know you have many people that care for you and are thinking of you. I am here for anything you want to ask of me, or if you are just having a hard time. Just let me know. Brighter days will come even though it is hard to feel that way right now. You have Faith, Pray, and I will put you on our church’s Prayer List Lindsey. And Bless you and your Mother.
Always, Carol L. Pauls Marshall
Like
0
Dear Lindsay,
You are an amazing young woman! I am 29 years older than you and blessed to still have both of my parents. I hope I am as courageous as you, if/when my parents need me. Talking about your experience is so important. Stay in touch, we’re here for you.
Lisa
Like
0
Dear Lisa,
I saw your post from yesterday. Yes you are soooo lucky to still have both parents.
At 54, very few of my friends still have both of their parents. My husband though is 62 and still has his Mother, Margaret, who is getting ready to be 91. She is still as active as she can be. I lost my Mother in 1981, and my father in May of 1999.
I want to tell you how happy I am that you still have both parents. Spend time with them, take pictures of them. They don’t want gifts…what they want is your time. Just a little advise because we are just human beings, and sometimes don’t realize that when they are gone, they are gone. We don’t think about that. We think, “hey I’ll see ya next week.” You will be courageous Lisa. I can tell you are the kind that will spend lots of time with your parents. The reason I say all of this is because of my own experience. I was the last of 4 children and my Dad was 40 when I was born, so I spent time him but was around when he would say.”I just want my kids to come see me, come have breakfast with me, go to a movie, take me to Crackerbarrell for breakfast. As nurse, taking care of some of the elderly folks, all they would say is “wish my kids would come around” Especially if they have lost their spous, one of your parents. They get extremely lonely with that. Don’t mean to preach, just want to share, because when you give them time, it makes them feel so very special, and you will be so happy you did. As Jean told me recently, you wont regret it.
Hugs,
Carol Leigh
.
Like
0
Dear Lindsay,
Being overwhelmed is natural. Do not be afraid of it. When my father was diagnosed with a very rare vascular disease I thought, “I’m a nurse and I can take care of him.” If not for my mother, I don’t know what I would have done. After years of taking care of people in the hospital, I thought I knew how to take care of anyone. It is it 100x harder when it is your family member. 6 months before my father passed away, I was diagnosed with cancer. That is what you call a double whammy. My poor mother had to take care of both of us, but she found an inner strength that she didn’t know she had and we all did well up till the time of my Daddy’s passing. That was so hard and I was still going through chemo. My Mother held her head up high, yes, she grieved, but she did it with dignity. The medication can cause some weird things to happen. Do not be surprised by that. Just put a smile on your face everyday, take her fresh flowers from time to time, talk of the good times that you have had in your life with her as you said her memory is intact for the most part. Show the love that you have in your heart and most of all…Don’t lose heart. I will keep you in my prayers. As Jean says, “Life can be so unfair and cruel.” But be strong and fight back…and if that doesn’t help, shed some tears. There is nothing wrong with that. Keep us informed on what is going on. I will remember you in my thoughts and send positive energy your way. Good luck with your nursing career. I had to quit after 35 years in the nursing business due to my cancer, and I miss it. Take care and if there is anything I can do to help, just let me know. ~Bev
Like
0
Dear Carol Leigh,
I am in shock that I have just now come across this post. Your story is truely inspirational & almost identical to my situation that is happening right now. It is such a relief to know that I am not the only person in this world!
Like
0
Lindsay,
We are here and open 24/7, you are not alone @ DLH. Come back often, and let us know how you are doing.
~Char
Like
0
Dear Lindsay,
I can’t find the note I sent you last night here. But I wanted to tell you some things. First, I am so sorry you are going through this, and no, you are not alone in this. My last post was answering some of your questions about what a thalamic glioma is. In doing so, I feel I didn’t support you emotionally enough…maybe I was a bit too clinical sounding in describing what a glioma is, and what it means to have one on the thalamus gland. I want to tell you I haven’t kept up with this site much, but because of your story, and how important caregiving is, I am so glad that to be connected with it. First of all, know that things will get better, and brighter days always do come. My e-mail is cpauls524@yahoo.com You may e-mail me any time you want. I have been through this, so I know some of the things that are going on with your sweet Mother, and I know “some” of your fears & feelings. “Don’t Lose Heart” is a song Dan wrote for Jean to make her feel better when he passed away. He was sending her love, strength, and telling her hey THings are going to be just fine! Jean is sharing that with all of us, all of us that knew of Dan’s music and loved him for his music and talent, but also for the kind human being that he was. Dan didn’t want Jean to hurt, so he wrote that song to help her through it. He was so selfless that way…thinking of others. Listen to Dan’s beautiful voice as he sings that song. It’s one of the songs that got Jean through all of loss. I think he wrote it for all of us too Lindsey. For the same reason. Imagine that Dan is singing it just for you. Music and songs get me through everything. But choose what you want, whatever gets you through those “Upsey Daisey” days. Then take time for yourself to do it. You have a lot of support on this site sweetheart, and I am thinking of you and your sweet Mother. You are stronger than you think, but know that just because you are a nurse doesn’t mean you don’t need support too. You have a lot of people that care for you.
Write me anytime you need to. Hugs, Carol Leigh
Like
0
Carol Leigh, your story has inspired me to try and become a better person. You truly are a gifted person. Thank you for all you do for others.
Char
Like
0
Dear Char,
I can’t believe it, but I am just now seeing your post. What an incredible thing to tell me. You make me feel so wonderful. Yes, I am 54 now, and going through just a little bit of my story really brought me back. I can tell it upset me to write it, and it was such a short version of everything, but it feels better to get it out because others can get help and support from it. I got a note from DLH telling me about Lindsey, and our stories being just alike. I was so happy to know that writing everything could give hope and support and understanding to someone. This girl is the same age I was when going through this. Thank You for giving me a kind reply Char. I appreciate it so much.
I truly thank Jean and God for this site.
Hugs, Carol Leigh
Like
0
Dear Carol Leigh, what an indomitable spirit you have. Thank you for sharing your story with us. It’s amazing that you were able to not only overcome the many hardships you’ve encountered, but to care for others as well….simply amazing. ~ Jean
Like
0