BOOKS
"There's No Place Like Hope"
THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOPE: A GUIDE TO BEATING CANCER IN MIND-SIZED BITES By Vickie Girard
It’s true, the most important mental weapon you have against any disease is HOPE. It doesn’t matter what kind of cancer you have; if you are the person with cancer or the person caring for the person with cancer; get this book. A small book, with little gems about everything. I used to buy five at a time and give them away to people we met in the hospital waiting rooms, or people who had a family member going through treatment. We had two copies in the house, one upstairs and one downstairs. You never know when you’re going to need a little comfort and encouragement, and hope. You can buy it at Amazon.com.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Safe Passage"
SAFE PASSAGE – WORDS TO HELP THE GRIEVING By Molly Fumia
If you’ve lost your loved one, I’m truly sorry. There are no words that will make it hurt less. And each person will go through their own grieving process; there are no rules here. Cut yourself a lot of slack right now, you won’t be “yourself” for some time. You’ll be dazed, forgetful, tired, and your emotions will be all over the place. My friend Sherry gave me this book, and now it’s dog-eared and a bit worn. It’s full of comfort, and it’s divided into the six stages of grief. Take your time. I still haven’t read the last chapter….. just not ready yet. You can buy it at Amazon.com. A good friend to have late at night when all other friends are asleep.
Hello, Char. I left a message with Jean before I saw the section with your name for books. I heard Gail Sheehy interviewed on an npr station this week about her book Passages in Caregiving. I was truly impressed with what she was offering. She cared for her husband for 17 years before he passed. She presented a wealth of practical and inspiring information. I plan to read it. It may be a book that others could find helpful. Hope I didn’t unnecessarily impose on Jean with my email.
Like
0
Deann, no imposing possible here. I ordered the book right after reading your email – can’t wait to read it. Thank you. ~ Jean
Like
0
Here’s a video clip of Gail Sheehy when she appeared earlier this year on the Today show to talk about her caregiving years and her new book.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/36966828/ns/today-books/from/toolbar
Like
0
Hello Deann
I also will be ordering the book, as is sounds terrific. Thank you.
~Char
Like
0
[img]http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51Q0H6CYE5L._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg[/img]
Hi& Happy Holidays..
From an early age, I started watching the movie “The Christmas Carol” and to this day it still is one, if not my fav, of all times. This book looks like an interesting read.
Hoping everyone here at DLH, is well and enjoying the season.
~Char
Like
0
I am reading an awesome book, “Understanding Your Grief”. (Click on the link below to learn more about the author, Dr. Alan Wolfelt). The book is a little heavy and a bit difficult to wade through at first, but I am really enjoying it now. The concepts can really be applied to grief after loss of a loved one, after divorce, etc. There is another book that looks really good-and appears to be more of an easy read-”Living in the Shadows of the Ghosts of Grief.” I’ll keep you posted as I “journey” through the book(s)!!
http://www.centerforloss.com/
~Ann
Like
0
Dear Joyce, I never responded to your comment of 3/17, so very sorry. In response to the question re: bonding with others, in the same situation yes, yes and yes. I found myself almost seeking out others who had recently lost a parent. They understood my pain, my anger and my sadness. And it was a new language that none of my friends understood. Two months after my Dad died, Christmas was upon us, and we all tried very hard to continue on,as there were young grandchildren to keep us going, and a book, “The Polar Express” was discovered by the family. You are so right, the message that came across to me from that book, meant the world to me at that time, and to this day still does[ I hear the bell:)] Thank you for your comment, and sorry for my delay.
~Char
Like
0
Jean, My first thing to say is “Ditto, Ditto,” on all the beautiful and heartfelt words that have come your way. I am in awe of your compassion, creativity, brilliance, and humor. This may not be a direct comet to the above books, but I do circle back.
After I read the Home Page I went directly to the Books Section. In my experiences as a caregiver, books have always been there and have kept me a float. Books have been my best friends, when my best friends couldn’t be there or had no idea of what to say or do.
It may sound simplistic, but reading provides some self care.
My father was diagnosed with a rare form of blood cancer when I was in college and was in remission for five years. He was an older father and very private. I became his confident and later the one who was with him when he was in and out of the hospital. It was a very stressful time and the role reversal of taking care of my parent was daunting. Being someone who is a reader, I always had books with me at the hospital and they provided an escape in the quiet chaos. There were many long hours of waiting…. for doctors, test results, and times when I was waiting alone in the room for my father to return to the room after procedures. There weren’t cell phones and my time was best spent trying to stay calm and upbeat. My father would ask for me to read him the paper and It made me feel useful and provided him a chance to be in touch with the outside world.
My mother was diagnosed with cancer 15 years later and this relationship was more complicated. I was the one with her through out her hospital stays. I remembered how important it was to have my books with me again. When I have a friend who needs some comforting I always slip a book into their bag or get books to them.
I was the first one to lose a parent among my childhood friends and as supportive as they were, they had no real idea of the pain of caring for and losing a parent. Especially understanding losing my father, the person I loved the most. I struggled with the pain and not having anyone or anything to relate to. I did read Elizabth Kubler Ross’s book and couldn’t believe that she researched and wrote about loss. Her six steps resonated with me.
I
I oddly discovered that random fiction books introduced me to characters who could articulate my feelings through their conversations and actions. I found myself not feeling so alone and alienated.
I only wish there had been the above books when I needed them most. I still find that whenever a friend loses a parent or their parent has cancer that I feel their pain so deeply and my feelings of sadness resurface. I return to books to provide much needed support. Two steps forward, and one back.
The book “Safe Passages” will be read by me and given to others with your insight “that you won’t be yourself for awhile.” Just to be given permission to be a mess for awhile is priceless!
A great suggestion to buy multiple copies of “There’s No Place Like Hope” by Vicky Girard. Encouragement and comfort are always welcome.
Your thoughtful blog lets me learn about so many amazing people who are providing or have provided such loving and vital care for their loved ones. Just like you did for Dan. I am so happy that the two of you found each other and were so in love.
I will continue to follow your lead.
Joyce
Like
0
Hi Joyce, I too was the first to lose a parent (father) amoung my friends. And as you stated wished these wonderful books and resources were there at the time. Your dad sounds alike like mine was, very private. I think that is why I find this site so great for myself and others, the help it provides to all, is beyond measure. I lovethe idea of giving the books to friends when the time comes. Thanks so much and Stay well
Char
Like
0
Char, I am so sorry for the loss of your father. I think that one of the beautiful missions of this site that Jean has beautifully created is that even if our experiences are not the same, that the feelings of loss are universal. I am just wondering at that time if you found yourself self bonding with others who had also lost a parent. It was like I discovered a new language that I never t heard before or never really listened to either.
I work with children and read and buy many, many picture books. The messages can be so inspiring, and life affirming. Also, very creative and funny. There are messages for adults in those books too. I read favorites over and over.
I thought I might post a few titles that might be of interest…..
Thank you for your kind response.
Take care, Joyce
Like
0