Big storm today in New England, shoveled all the porches and stairs (twice!) and now I can just enjoy the silent beauty of the snow falling. Did you know you can burn 300 – 400 calories an hour shoveling snow? That 15 minutes of snow shoveling counts as moderate exercise? Then there’s the exercise you get wading out to the satellite dish to brush it off so you can get an internet connection.
I like shoveling snow, especially the lighter stuff. I find it therapeutic, like pulling weeds. Both activities make for good visualizations. When Dan was sick, every weed I pulled, and every shovelful of snow, was cancer I was removing from his system. I find visualizations to be a great stress reducer.
Just keep in mind that if you aren’t in great shape, you have to take it easy. Know your limits, and don’t overdo it. The Occupational Health & Safety website has some good tips: http://ohsonline.com/articles/2009/12/19/shoveling-snow-safely.aspx.
Don’t do it all at once, take it easy. There are plenty of weeds and snowflakes out there, and there will always be more. But there’s only one you in the whole world.
Jean — In the original post you mentioned how you find shoveling snow and weeding a garden therapeutic because you can do visualizations with it. I was really intrigued by that idea and found it very helpful to try. I am an artist (paint is my primary medium) and I use plastic covers from yogurt or sour cream containers as my palettes. After a painting session, I usually end up with about three lid palettes that are covered with dried paints in all blends of colors. I have been going through a painful divorce this year (completely unexpected), and peeling the paint off of those palettes while visualizing the mucky stuff leaving my heart and spirit has been very, very helpful to me. Thank you so much for your idea.
The short story of this is that my husband of 7 years (were together for 12 years) became severely addicted to crack cocaine (went on for about a year before I finally found out what was going on). When we met, he had told me he did cocaine in the 1980s (he was a DJ at nightclubs). He told me he had left that in the past and had been clean for years. Because I was raised in a home with a lot of chaos — mental illness, alcoholism, violence — I told him if he did drugs during our relationship, I would have to end it. I know that may sound harsh, but I knew I would not be able to manage living with a drug addict. We went along fine for years, and he was the love of my life. We were great pals too, were so interested in each others’ ideas, dreams, goals, activities.
When he started using again, I was really wrapped up in helping my sister care for our elderly parents who were both in the hospital at the time (and Mom went to a nursing home for a while as well). When I did start to seriously notice that he was gone a lot (he had an odd work schedule as an independent contractor, so strange hours in different cities were the norm), and that he never seemed to have any money to help with bills, I questioned him. He said he thought he had health problems and was having trouble cognitively.
I took him to a neurologist who did not find anything wrong and seemed puzzled by the entire thing. I was quite naive about the whole thing and was frankly still caught up in issues with my parents. I also took my husband to a cardiac specialist who found nothing wrong. Meanwhile, expenses were piling up, and no money was coming from my husband. He was MIA more often, and I could not understand why I could not reach him by cell phone at all. He kept telling me he thought there was something wrong with himself, so by this time, I was terrified that he was stroked out or had a heart attack and lay on the side of the road somewhere late at night, and I did not even know where to have the police look if I contacted them.
By this time, I was overloaded with worry — my parents, dwindling finances, and constant worry about what was going on with my husband who had never behaved this way. I seriously was terrified that he was about to drop dead. I did consider he might be having an affair, but frankly, I did not think so. Finally, at 6 one morning in the spring, a friend of his called me to tell me that my husband was doing crack cocaine and had been for almost a year. Besides being absolutely shocked (as I said, I was naive and had not dealt with this from him at all before), I was plenty angry and hurt. The effect all this had on the running of our home was devastating. I only recently got all the financial damage resolved. Anyway, I moved him out of the house that day (while he was on a drug bender).
He stayed with a friend and started to go to NA meetings. I saw him a couple of times per week as long as he was going to meetings. He relapsed a few times, but got back with the program. I told him we would not discuss our relationship decisions until he had several months sober so he would be stable when we discussed our future. As it turns out, he started slacking off of meetings and going on more benders. At this point, he blames me for his addiction (I hear this is common). He also moved in with a woman friend of his, so that was it for me. I have my own business to run and have to make my living as well as be present for my parents with my sister since my parents have frequent health issues that need more and more care. I decided to initiate divorce proceedings and no longer see my husband. It was not an easy decision, but I felt it was the only one that would free me from all the chaos so I could be effective in my life.
I am actually doing pretty well now as I experienced the major pain and shock a few months ago and the rest has been trying to patch my life up (which is coming along well). I apologize if this is not a good place to share this story, but I wanted you to know that the visualizations you talked about have helped me immensely. I recommend this to anyone who does any kind of activity with their hands, whether it be cleaning a kitchen counter, peeling crusted paint off palettes, or weeding a garden. The practice along with the visualization is very effective therapy.
Thanks again.
Laurel
Like
3
Laurel,
I have not tried the visualizations yet,but fully intend to do so, ASAP. So sorry to read of the heartbreaking trouble with your husband. I can not imagine, the anxiety you must have been feeling all that time, not knowing what exactly was going on, or what was wrong. As for being naïve, maybe it was a God send in disguise, not sure. Adding to the picture is the caring for your parents, stressful just thinking about it, and money troubles, wow so much going on. Very glad to hear you have put some of it away in a zip lock bag and thrown it out to sea…..( I am already starting with the visualizations here) Love that you paint, my mom also took it up again after my dad passed, nineteen years ago today. You will be in my thoughts, as I visualize your healing more and more as each day passes.
~Char
Like
3
Char — I hope you experience the same relief I have by doing this. I actually do this every day now before I start my painting, and it leaves my spirit uncluttered so I can attend to my work unfettered.
Please see my reply to Jean on how I turn the visualizations around. This helps me so much as well. Best to you.
Like
0
Laurel, I’m so glad you found a way to adapt the visualizations and that they are effective for you – thanks for letting us know. You certainly weren’t being “harsh” when you told your husband drug use would be a deal-breaker, especially considering your family history and his past usage. I’m so glad you and your sister can share the increasing needs of your parents and that you’re getting back on your feet. I know it took a lot of strength and determination to make the break from the love of your life, and to rebuild your life, both emotionally and financially. Please be sure to get that divorce finalized to protect your business and assets from any credit problems he might develop in the future. In the meantime, peel, baby, peel! ~ Jean
Like
3
Thank you Jean. In building on your original visualization process, I have also started to visualize while I create things. For example, when I am putting together a meal, whether it be a sandwich or a pot of homemade chili, I visualize building some area of my life in a helpful and positive way (such as visualizing becoming more skilled at my business and earning more money, or visualizing the expansion and growth of my own confidence). I have also started doing these visualizations when I make my art; I visualize delightful and healing qualities going into each piece I make so that the observer may be touched by my art in a way that is personally beneficial to him/her.
This is a very helpful practice for me as I tend to be a worrier and I have tended toward discouragement in the past. These “building” visualizations have become a good mental practice, mood lifter, and a sort-of positivity discipline. They actually help me stay more on a positive mind-track rather than being emotionally bopped around by daily fluctuations in events and moods.
So thank you again. You started something very helpful and healing for me.
Like
2
Snow sounds heavenly about now. We are in the mid to high 90′s. A little unusual for a SD fall. We even had tornado warnings all around us last night! But again, I am thankful that someone else is in charge of the weather instead of me. We are still painting & staining in the 4 season addition we are trying to finish. Cold would make that very difficult. The addition is only possible due to the two wonderful men we lost last year. We wish they could be with us to enjoy the “fruits” of their labor, so to speak.
There are several of you here that are on my daily prayer list, it is so good to catch up with everyone a little bit!
Like
1
Suzanne, it’s my back that tires of the shoveling now, long before I have. I love the change of seasons: that first warm breeze signaling Summer, that nip in the air that signals Winter – it always reminds me of the day years ago, when Dan and I were looking out at the first snowflakes of the season and wondering aloud if there would ever come a day when they didn’t elicit a childlike wonder and delight from us. We doubted it very much. I’m going through one of those times in life when a string of events pile up and feel like they’re going to crush you. Made a big batch of Salmon Patties and am having them with a pile of steamed spinach tonight – one lesson well learned, take care of your body and your mind will follow. (A hot bath doesn’t hurt either.) ~ Jean
Like
7
Good morning, Jean! Your honesty is so appreciated, and I can understand the feeling that you and Dan shared of childlike wonder at snowflakes. The first time I saw snow falling I experienced that, as well, but was not as young as you; I grew up in the desert Southwest (Arizona). Flagstaff was our winter playground from time to time. I will be keeping you in prayer and thought to lift you through the current events in your life that feel crushing. Your spirit cannot be crushed because it is eternal. You are so wise to eat salmon patties (my husband David loves your Salmon Almond Jean recipe!) and steamed spinach. Hot baths are definitely prescribed during cooler/cold weather seasons, enjoyed with a big handful of essential oil fragranced sea salts. Remember to warm all of your tiny spinal muscles (there are 5 major groups!) by stretching before shoveling this coming season. A good stretch is the one cats and dogs do [wisely, intuitively] upon awaking before ever taking a step forward: curling and lengthening the spine and stretching out the limbs. Enjoy the snow and get some good photos! with love, Suzanne
Like
2
JF;
Please know you are loved, appreciated, and supported. There are a couple of us who would prefer to be “crushed” in order to protect you…
Like
4
JF,
Totally agree with Lynn, you are always, always here for us, so now take time for you, and will will provide the ” jersey barriers” for you. We all have our breaking point, rest your soul, body and mind. We understand.
~Char
Like
3
Suzanne, I get great pleasure from hearing that one of my made up recipes is liked, so thank you. I didn’t realize about the tiny spinal muscles, and I love the idea of stretching like a cat in the morning, so thanks again, I’m going to start doing that. Lynn, Char, thanks for your constant support and kind words.
Ironically, those first snowflakes fell yesterday and we got about 4 inches of snow in the Rocky Mountains. Not totally unexpected, but odd to see the green and bright yellow leaves of Fall among all the white. Something about the acoustic nature of snow: the world is so quiet beneath a fresh snowfall, it calms me and quiets the noise in my head as well.
Like
3
Love me some Salmon Cakes….my mom makes them, usually with corn bread and what she calls ‘soup beans’…. And as for the topic of the seasons changing, I also like that feeling and I have found it interesting, once the season does change, how quickly the previous season becomes so distant from our minds… Jean, I pray that you won’t be “crushed”, and that God will “raise you up”, and yes, I thank God for the “little” things like a “hot bath”, a comfortable bed, and a warm hug with my dog Max…
Like
1
Jerel, your mom serves them with corn bread (yum) or uses corn meal instead of bread crumbs? That would be good for people on a gluten-free diet. I might try it.
Like
0
Jean, she serves them with the cornbread (in one of those iron skillets)…she’s from East Tennessee and she grew up on cornbread…
Like
1
Dear Jean, I was just thinking about you 2 days ago and telling myself that I should drop you a note to say hello hoping that you were doing OK because I just felt you might need a virtual hug these days. Your friends here said it so well and I second everyone and wish we could shield you from any pain or upset. I am headed to the mountains in a few hours to feel the fall chill, breathe in the fresh air and relax in one of my favorite peaceful settings. I’ll be thinking positive thoughts this weekend that your stresses will hopefully soon subside. I’m anticipating a stressful week coming up myself after I return with meetings at my mom’s nursing home and a trip to a dental hospital with her as well, but hopefully all positive results will come of it. Know that we want only good things for you and we’re here to lift you up in spirit always and whenever you need us, just as you have always been there for us. Let’s all think of one another this weekend when we have our long, luxurious Suzanne-inspired kittycat stretches and wish for peace in all of our lives for ourselves and loved ones. Or, in my case, they will be my Wendy stretches, my Springer Spaniel. She has an interesting daily stretch: she greets us standing on her hind legs and places her front paws on us and stretches those two front paws way up on us while simultaneously cocking her head to the side slightly for a little neck stretch as well in a bashful display of affection. It’s sooo cute. I never get tired of those stretchy greetings from her.
Autumn Blessings to Jean and all the DLH Angels, Karen
Like
1
Karen, I love the Wendy stretches! I had a Springer Spaniel back in the 80s and she was so sweet…we named her Maggie….now we have a Rottie named Max and if he stretched on me like your Wendy, he would push me over!
Like
1
Jean, I’m so glad you posted this blog just under two years ago. I “stumbled” across it again and am happy for the reminder about what is coming and the importance of taking mindful care of our bodies. My knees are not that of a young woman any longer, and lifting shovelful upon shovelful of snow can be very challenging work, albeit therapeutic. I usually enjoy the first half dozen snowfalls of the season and then begin to tire of it and long for spring. Each year I approach the season with a positive attitude, thankful that I am alive and can enjoy the richness and divine beauty of the changing seasons. Thanks again for sharing!
Like
2